I was looking through old pins this morning and immediately started crying over seeing this one. In fact, I’m still crying as I write this. I truly don’t know why. Utter fear? Longing? I’m a psycho? All plausible.
It was an instagramed photo of mine that I pinned ages ago. When I got my wedding dress back from being preserved, I poured myself a glass of wine, grabbed a pen and a card, and sat down to write a little note to the daughter I hope to have some day. Two years later, the hubs and I are far from being ready to be parents; we both still have strides we’d like to make in our careers, we live in a perfectly-sized-for-two apartment (read: one bedroom), the “baby bucket list” of fun things to do continues to grow and, quite frankly, I’m just not “there yet.”
But despite all of these logical arguments, despite knowing every which way to Sunday that I’m not ready, I just can’t stop crying when I think about the note I wrote to my future little girl–and how far away I am from being able to meet her.
Yes, there’s something freeing about being honest with yourself and just owning the facts about where you are in life. And yes, there’s much excitement attached to knowing that you get a couple more years alone with the man you love to just have fun before you dive into the stressful blunders of parenthood. But there’s also something scary and unsettling about heading in a direction you’re unsure of–a direction you didn’t expect. There’s something scary about just not being where you thought you’d be and second guessing all of the things you were once so certain of.
Can you relate?
Anyhoo, I’m eager to know what you did or will do with your wedding dress? Do you hope your daughter will wear it some day? XO!